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Updated on Monday and Thursday.
"If you think with your emotions, slight glandular changes are sufficient to revise your entire outlook."

— Brian Aldiss



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Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

I have been behind on PaaT for two weeks; this entry appears after four catch up pages that were quickly dashed off. This is working only to the letter, and not the spirit, of the reason for which I started PaaT (and just barely to the letter, at that).

I do of course have reasons; the business looks like it may work out; I've contacted more people who are willing to pay me a commission to put things on eBay, and I've been spending the past few Tuesday evenings with the Morris Music Men, a group of harmonic singers that Laura encountered at the Fishawack festival. I've also been goofing off and wasting time on games rather more than I should be, but that's been a constant.

I drew most of the previous doodles on a single placemat from the Morristown Diner. In the case of Filial Youth, I rearranged the elements for better effect, as they were not initially planned as a scene. The rogue meeting his chance was a doodle from about a month ago, which I initially set aside as not PaaT worthy; again, rearranging the disparate elements made it acceptable to present.

I must admit to writing this in the bitter afterwash of a deep frustration. Several hours ago, I was in a good mood and was looking forward to scanning in the images to update PaaT, but as I sat down to do the work, my scanner (an all-in-one network printer) stopped communicating with my computer. For almost an hour, I tried various fixes, but nothing worked, and at the last I was so full of rage and despair that I was considering (threatening?) the closing of PaaT. Not surprisingly, neither the universe nor the printer were moved by such emotions, but I still felt on some plane remote from logic that I was being punished for having neglected PaaT, and so I felt quite resentful and petulant as well.

Eventually I performed a software update and re-established contact with the scanner, after which it was not very difficult to get back into the mood, and under a sullen veneer I was enjoying myself, or at least feeling the relief and ease of being back in control.

I am continuing to have trouble fitting in PaaT among my other responsibilities, and I will likely have to do more patchwork as time goes on. But I haven't given up.







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